16.4.15

Thinking Out Loud

Forgiveness is hard. Especially when someone you love dearly betrays your trust. The scars and scabs that betrayal leaves can be easily reopened .. You forgive but every now and then your hurt skips a beat and you feel that horrible hurt feeling. Someone close to me hurt me like that a while ago and although I have forgiven her, sometimes I still feel hurt. What hurts the most though, is the feeling that I can never be the same with her as I once was. Not that I don't want to but I now always feel this sort of distance between us. How to get past that feeling...i'm still working on it. What is hard is that I don't think she realized or comprehended the extent of the hurt she caused and the effects it had on me.

I love this person and that can never change, I just maybe have what you call PTSD from the hurt. I hope and wish one of these days, I will completely heal from this as I would rather have that relationship intact.

I am still on the road towards healing with love and light in my heart.

Love & light,

J
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