Sex, Sexism and Self esteem

Sex means different things to different people. Most of the time it depends on how we were brought up. For some, it is taboo, for others it is a way of expression. One concept almost everyone can agree on is that sex is a way to express love.

This is particularly true for women, not because women are more emotional but because of biology. ( If you need to know more about this, google will answer you ha!) anyway, I decided to write this article because I see it everyday. I see girls growing into women deprived of self esteem and I just can't keep quiet about it anymore. Last night, as I was watching "the Bachelor" one thing led to another and I was in a discussion with my boyfriend. There was a virgin girl and she was nervous about telling the bachelor of her "condition". jokingly, after they spent the night in the "fantasy suite" I said that she was lucky to still have her virginity at 26... her soul must still be intact. He laughed out loud and I started to explain to him my reasoning: Each time a girl has sex she looses a little bit of her soul.

Sex seems to start earlier each generation. Most teenagers are already having sex at 14. Most of the time, a girl will sleep with a boy for the first time because she thinks she loves him, because everyone is doing it, because she thinks he wants to or because she wants to "keep" him. Most likely, this first guy will not be the last. This is where immaturity plays against a young girl. Emotionally, she is not ready for the confusing and mine field that is sexuality. Once the first boy has left, she will be heartbroken and she will try to mend her heart with other boys and it will go on until she finds the right one but by then, she will have a mountain of emotional issues, trust issues and others. This happens because the decision to have sex was not because she was ready but more because of outside peer pressure.

Boys grow up in a world where women are plastered everywhere as sex objects. Commercials, magazines, movies, etc. A man, a "real" man is one who can seduce as many women as possible. A man is not governed by emotions. A man does not cry. No, that is just "acting like a girl". How wrong! But in a world where women are advertised as sex objects and instant gratification is available so easily, how can these boys be blamed? A young 13 year old boy will find porn on the internet and that is what he is going to strive for until he's mature enough to realize it is far from reality. It won't be hard for him to find girls because they think sexuality is the way to get attention and as men, they will be the husbands that cheat. Its all a very viscious circle.

I guess what I'm trying to say, is that there needs to be an open dialogue about this. Sex can not be taken as lightly as it is nowadays. It should come with a warning. People should start having sex only once they were well aware of all the repercussions. For women, unless you have a strong mind like "Samantha" for sex and the city then you will be burned. She is a fictional character but that's what it takes. Once you know who you are and only "you" can affect your self esteem, you can go ahead and have a blast, otherwise, consider yourself warned!

Check out some good reads about the subject here.


1 comment :

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